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How Drug Addiction Has Affected My Family
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Drug Addiction Took Root in My Family
My sister Michelle and I are 6 years apart. She's the older one. Over the years, our relationship has been one of love and hate - all due to the drug addiction she faced, which I'm only now beginning to understand.
She started out with such promise in life, but the peer pressure to fit in among a rough crowd in her public school made her cave to her conviction and test out a myriad of previously off-limits substances.
She started with cigarettes. The moment is so vivid in her mind and you can tell it affects her greatly. She was standing at the bus stop in 8th grade and one girl had just punched another in the face on the first day of school. That same bully lights up a cigarette, turns to my sister, and says, "You smoke, don't you?"
She said yes out of pure fear.
Then it turned into nighttime escapes where she and a few friends would get drunk. This type of crowd later introduced her to pot, cocaine, and then the worst drug that has kept her life in shambles ever since - methamphetamines - aka: Meth.
The low points have been multiple stints in jail, endless arguments and estrangements with our family, and rescuing my elderly father and niece and nephews from her drug den with a potentially explosive meth lab inside the house.
My sister's clean right now. She's working and living in a house with her two sons (her older son and daughter are grown). We talk from time to time, but I'm always waiting for that other shoe to drop.
I never got it until I started learning more about it and stopped thinking it was something she was doing to us. I love her and I hope she stays healthy. I wish I could take away whatever fear and hurt that drove her to this predicament.
We came from a "good" family, and I'm living proof that it can happen to any family, no matter how much you try to prevent it or how loving your parents are. You just have to do your best and try to do everything you can to prevent drugs from entering your family's life.
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Finding a Light at the End of the Tunnel
If you're stuck in the seemingly never-ending trap of addiction, you need to know that there is hope. Many people struggle between addiction and recovery and relapse several times before finally breaking free from this trap.
If you're struggling with your own drug problem, there are resources that can give you the hope that you need to get help. If you're currently in recovery, you'll be able to relate to the struggles of others who have been through it before.
Drug use can take you to the darkest depths. You can lose everything including your family, your friends, your livelihood, and your self-respect. But it's important to know there's always hope and help.
In some of these books, you'll read about the addict's struggle with losing everything, alienating their family, and finding a way back. No matter where you are in your life, you can benefit from learning how someone else has made the huge step of getting help and getting their life back together.
Some of the books reveal highly personal struggles through a pen name in order to remain anonymous in keeping with their 12-step program and in keeping the identity of their family members protected. And though they remain anonymous, you'll be blown away by their raw stories of pain, struggle, and finally hope and redemption.
If you're caught in the cycle of addiction, you should understand that there's a way out. By reading other resources of those who have been there, you'll be able to see how someone else in your position was able to make a new life for themselves.
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Hope for Family Members of Drug Addicts
Even if you don't personally have a problem with addiction, you may be affected seriously by someone else who does. Anyone who has a close friend or family member who is in the throes of drug or alcohol addiction understands the toll it can take. This struggle can literally tear a family apart and lead to feelings of hopelessness and even shame.
If you've given up on your family member, you should know that there is always hope. In some of the above resources, addicts discuss the lows and the highs and their stories, and though painful and difficult at times, it's a reminder that no one is ever really a lost cause.
When struggling with a family member who's dealing with addiction, you can often feel like there's no way out. You may feel like you just can't take anymore and even fear for your loved one's life. These feelings are very normal and natural, but it helps to temper them with hope.
Understanding where your family member is coming from and his or her experiences may help you to understand how you can best handle the situation. You may also be able to reconcile your feelings and begin to live your life better as well. You'll be able to understand why your loved one has disappointed you.
You'll get the truth about what it's like (at least for one addict) to live in a cycle of addiction. You'll find out what motivates a person to walk down this path and how you can best help them. You may also want to check out the 12-step program for families of addicts - Alanon. There's also a program for teenagers called Alateen.
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Getting Help for Drug Addiction
If you're living life as a slave to addiction, you should know that there is help and hope available for you. There are many 12-step programs that offer the tools you need to recover at very little, if any, cost.
You can work your way back to life from a personal hell of drug use, pain, and loss by working the steps of the program. And you can stay involved in the program and even become a sponsor for others who are new to the program.
No matter what your addiction is - gambling, alcohol, sex, drugs - there's a 12-step program that can help you to get back to a life that's not dependent on when and where you get your next fix. Programs like Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, and Gamblers Anonymous can help you to regain your life and move toward a brighter future.
Let others be your example and your model as you work toward your own recovery. No matter how bad things are right now, there's always a way out. Many people have walked the path that you now tread, and they've lived to tell about it.
Not only can you survive after falling into the addiction trap, but you can thrive. Have hope as you read the story of others, including my own sister who is now drug-free and single-handedly supporting her children on her own.
It isn't easy. But it's possible.
Have Drugs Invaded Your Life in Some Way?Loading...
Thanks, Hope! I had a friend make him for me. He's good with graphics.
Tiff ;)
Great job here, Tiffany...I especially appreciate - "No matter where you are in your life, you can benefit from learning how someone else has made the huge step of getting help and getting their life back together."
Thanks Tiffany,
I realize that no one really understood my alcoholism like another alcoholic. It took two failed marriages and the horrible looking face of the man in my mirror to finally get some help. It has been some time now and I couldn't be more grateful. It seems as though you are working through this in your way and I know it is hard to watch, but at some point the light of hope will break through and she will feel worthy of the life she dreamed of before the meth took her away.
drugs are a nightmare for parents with teenagers, you know that they are going to experiment along with their peer group. Its all part of the growing up process and you have to hope that you have instilled sufficient family values to enable them to resist going beyond that "try it" stage. Good article tiff, on a difficult and often painfull subject!
I too know wonderful parents that suffer from their children's addiction. It is truly a Divine intervention when God, Who gave His only Son, Christ, sets the captives free in Him. Jesus came to set us free of all our diseases, all our addictions, all our sin. Praying for your sister, Terri
Hi Tiff,
Wow, what a heart breaking story and how you have stood by your sis in spite of all. Very moving. You write from the heart and it shows. I heard a quote somewhere that drug use actually tricks the brain into believing that drugs are more important than food and that when the brain is wired like that, it is near impossible to get unhooked.
I wish your sister luck and healing. I know from personal experience that it is possible to get through impossibly difficult life events. It is also true that you grow so much through hardship (sometimes I hate that about life, but what can a person do?).
Thanks for so vulnerably sharing your story. It will make a difference for another family.
Bless you for that!
Catherine
Thanks, Catherine. I haven't always stood by her, though - that's the guilt I feel. I saw her tear our family apart and her own kids (my niece and nephews) being neglected, so there was a lot of anger over the years, but now I'm realizing that's not her, it's the drugs.
She initially did drugs for recreation, but she often returned to them to lose weight and to medicate herself from her problems. I know now that if I ever see her spiraling down again, I can reach out and help without being so hostile.
Tiff :)
Hi Tiff,
Sometimes the tough love you have to do is so hard. I hope you are able to let go of the idea that you could have somehow handled it differently. You truly did the best you could and if you would have been with her more, you would have gotten even more entwined in the addictive patterns.
Catherine
Tiff, this is such an honest story. The best writing comes from down deep, and it shows. I hope your sister continues to resist drugs and that she realizes how lucky she is to have a supportive sister of her own.
Hi Tiffany,
Great Hub, Thanks for sharing. I know it must be tough to write about when it hits so close to home. I recently published a Hub about Josh Hamilton and his struggles and I would like to link to this Hub from it, with your blessing of course. Thanks
Frank
(the Hub referenced is http://hubpages.com/hub/What-Will-be-the-Legacy-of )
Sure, Frank! And thanks for the link here to help others find your Hub, too!
tiff
Thanks for sharing and particularly for giving hope that recovery is possible. It is not easy watching and trying to help a loved one who is addicted to any substance.
Great HUB, it's not everyday a family member steps in to inform others about this destructive disease. I am a recovering heroin addict!
I too came from a great family and had a great childhood until I was 13 and had a loved one violate me, It wasn't that that made me fall it was my self worth that was destroyed and my desire to want a way out, not to feel so bad.
My addictive personality brought me to places I will never want to return but only GOD & my new desire to stay sober can guide me to continue my path! Your sister will stay strong as long as she feels her worth in life, I think she is finished her run and sees the life she deserves!
Thank You for sharing & GOD BLESS you and ur family
Cherilyn
So I want to know what you do when that family member refuses to get help. They constanley lie to other family members to doctors when they ask do you think you have a problem. My family has done everything including the Marchman Act, Baker Acted more than once, it is a never ending battle with doctors and others who do not understand. This family member has torn my family everyone apart we have done everything in our power to help. This person is manipulating,a compulsive liar,a theft and etc.... When is it o.k. to say I have done everything I can to help and the person is not willing to accept, so when can I get my life back and throw my hands up and so o.k. I cant do this anymore it is slowley killing me inside. I have no help everyone else in my family has already givin up. I need answer because the person im talking about is my father :(
Thanks for sharing your story. Drug addiction in a family can be tough. The pain and suffering can be devastating, but there is also hope and a light at the end of the tunnel . :)
My brother had a serious drug addiction in his teens and early 20s. Meanwhile our father is an alcoholic and our mother has a personality disorder. There are several other close relatives with current and past substance abuse issue. One sad thing I've noticed, is that even when they "get clean," there's some mental damage that seems to remain. Sad.
Ashley,
I am a recovering addict. I have been clean 4 years now. I have seen and done the worst of it. I had some family that did nothing but down grade me and some that did all they could to help. Nothing they did was good enough. I know you love your father but the best thing you can do is be his daughter, love him and encourage him to do bnetter. Don't force him, cause a fight over it or go out of your way to make him get help because the truth is nothing anyone can do will make any difference the addict has to want it. If they get clean for someone else then they will just end up relapsing, they have to want to change their lifestyle and become sober for them to remain clean. Some people have to hit rock bottom and others have to have a reason to become clean. I was at the bottom of bottom and it didnt matter to me It took me finding out I was pregnant to get clean. I have three kids now and been clean since getting pregnant with my oldest child. I have no desire, want or urge to ever use again. My children are my life and I want them to have the best life possible. That they deserve! However, some people have kids and still let the drugs control theiur lives, everyone is different but I do know from experience is that all I wanted when I was using was a family member to love me for me, treat me like human/family and to talk to me without bringing up how much I needed to get clean everytime we spoke! I'm not saying forget ever trying to help him but just let him know you love him for him no matter what and just encourage him to get help. He's got to want it not everyone else! but no matter what you do DO NOT enable him no matter how sick he is! By that I mean don't give hime money for his habit, don't take him to go purchase his drug of choice and don't support him let him fin for himself if he always has someone helping him get his fix then he will never want the help!
Sabrena
I wish you the best and pray your father finds the help he needs!
we are on 4 weeks 2moro trying to keep my boy clean. i didnt realize how tuff it would be. we my husband and i arnt going to give inn too the outbursts and destruction its doing to our family life. we are GOING to save him and we arnt going to give inn... any one else the same for a chat
Hope Wilbanks 4 years ago
Thanks for sharing your story Tiff. It's true...even people from "good" families can and do become addicted to drugs. There are a few people in my family who have struggled with it for years. It's sad.
P.S. I love your smiley!! Mind sharing where you got him?